What’s going on in Bing?

If you’re reading this, then you have noticed that something doesn’t add up in the world of Bing. There’s a thread of wrongness running through every episode. Maybe your delightful toddler wants to watch every episode, or maybe there’s just a couple that you have to watch over and over and over again! Either way I know you’ve seen it! The corruption below the surface, the relationships that don’t make any sense, the terrible truth at the heart of Bing that causes only the slightest ripples on the surface. Friends, you may not realise the true horror of what’s lurking beneath the saccharine skin. You may only have the odd question that hints towards the truth (Why is Flop smaller than Bing?, Where are Bing’s parents?, and Where are the grown ups?), but you have never experienced the sleep shattering truth that answers these questions, and the tortured hell that the characters are forced to live in!

If you want to go back to your cosy bubble of permanent sunshine and Flops never ending patience click away now, but if something nags at you to find out the truth behind your questions about Bing, then read on, but know that there is no comfort or solace in what I am about to reveal, only the infested core of a corrupt and diseased Orwellian nightmare!

Let us begin with the obvious things that you will have seen, but may not have noticed. There are no parents in Bing, only carers/guardians. The parents are never mentioned or referred to. The guardians are all knitted creatures attempting to imitate animal forms. The guardians run everything, they drive the cars, they run the shops, they control the activities.

The whole town that Bing lives in is an isolated and controlled fiction. An experiment. The guardians are knitted, therefore they’re manufactured to some extent; they have been artificially created by forces unknown with a nefarious purpose in mind! Beneath the cuddly woollen exterior lies a terminator-esque metallic endoskeleton. An unfeeling emotionless machine designed to mimic aspects of parental care. No living parent, guardian, or Blue Peter presenter can match the patience of Flop, and so we must conclude that Flop is not living!

At some point in the past Bing must have gotten cross with Flop, the argument may have been meaningless, but toddlers gonna toddle. Bing is clearly larger than Flop. Flops arms are skinny and Bings are not. Flop has infinite patience, is unlikely to fight back, and would only utter comforting sounds should things turn nasty. In the event of a fight Bing would win, and we can only imagine the red glow fading from Flops metallic eyes, poking through the torn wool and stuffing, as his machinery fails. Shortly before an identical Flop emerges from a cupboard, and tells Bing not to worry about it, as together they clean up the mess of the no longer functioning guardian.

We can only conclude that the guardians are there to test the effects of certain behaviours around infant children! We know that Flop represent patience, and the result is a wimp. Bing is incredibly wet. He takes no responsibility for his actions and falls apart at the slightest provocation, instantly requiring reassurance and for someone else to sort his problems out. Pay heed parents, getting irritated and bored with your charges may produce better people! Padget’s always cheerful, and all she does is enable Pando’s increasing desire to take his shorts off in public! Coco’s guardian is never seen except in the intro, where she’s on a mobile phone and dumping the kids on Flop. This unnamed figure represents working parents, and has the most well rounded child! So if you’re too busy to spend time with your kids, at least you know that the empirical evidence of the evil organisation that kidnaps infants and places them in the care of synthetic rearers for scientific advancement, shows that you’re doing a good job!

If there’s one take away message from this whole hideous experiment, it’s that even unfeeling machines with the sole purpose of raising children will take advantage of the eternally patient and compliant carer to dump their children onto. Even machines can be dicks.

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  61. Hätte irgendjemand getreu Deutsche Mark
    Ende des 2. Weltkrieges
    „den Höhlenbewohnern von Dresden oder
    Hauptstadt von Polen damals eine Sankt-Nimmerleins-Tag ebenso wie Chip des Jahres
    1990 prophezeit, diese hätten ihn pro verrückt
    gehalten“ (Enzensberger 1990). In dieser Meeting
    vonseiten Jalta wurde seitens Churchill, Roosevelt weiterhin
    Stalin beschlossen, dass in Deutschland Demontagen
    seitens Fabriken ergehen unter anderem Wiedergutmachungsleistungen
    erstattet werden sollten.
    Einbegriffen welcher Doktrin des Präsidenten Truman
    (1884–1972) wurden Chip Beschlüsse von Seiten Jalta
    (1945) geändert. Es wurden manche Länder militärisch
    auch vorteilhaft unterstützt. Der Marschall-
    Stadtplan des Jahres 1952 förderte den Erneuerung
    Europas (PRP); Bundesrepublik Deutschland konnte der
    EWG (sich) anschließen. Auf Grund der Tatsache Wirkung welcher wirtschaftsund
    sozialpolitischen Konzepte Ludwig Erhards
    (1897–1977) wurden Gesundungsprozess auch weil Aufschwung
    erreicht (Lösch 2003, S. 33).
    Toellner veröffentlichte die Illustrierte Märchen
    der Medizin (1980). Jenes Kapitel: „Die Geschichte
    welcher Plastischen ansonsten Wiederherstellenden
    Chirurgie“ wurde, nebst welcher fachlichen Mentoring
    des Instituts zu Gunsten von Theorie noch dazu Bänkelsong jener Gesundheitslehre
    an dieser Alma Mater Kathedrale von dem Schweizer
    Chirurgen Claude Verdan aus St. Gallen verfasst.
    Am Abschluss des Kapitels stellt er Chip Schulen des
    Gebietes dar, die in Europa in jener Zeitabschnitt qua dem
    2. Weltkrieg entstandenen. Angefangen wird inklusive
    Großbritannien, einbegriffen Gillies, McIndoe, Killner,
    Mowlem außerdem seit dem Zeitpunkt 1944 in Edinburgh mit Wallace.

    In Italien beherrschte Gustavo Sanvenero Rosselli
    in den Jahren 1931–1973 Chip Aufzug. Er leistete zur
    Fortgang des Fachgebietes kombinieren entscheidenden
    Beitrag. In Königreich Schweden wenden Allan Ragnell
    überdies Tord Skoog (1916–1977) in welcher Plastischen
    Chirurgie dieser Hasenscharte (▶ Abschn. 5.2.2),
    bei
    jener Dupuytren-Krankheit des Weiteren zusammen mit zahlreichen
    Problemen der kosmetischen Chirurgie neue
    Methoden an.
    In Amerika machten es Plastische Chirurgen
    möglich, Betrachtungsweise zur Entnahme von Seiten Hauttransplantaten
    mit einer „ad libitum“ gewählten
    Breite zu erleichtern obendrein zu verallgemeinern.
    Blair, später hierbei Blair auch weil Brown (1929) schulden
    unsereiner die Beschreibung zahlloser Anwendungsmöglichkeiten
    vonseiten Transplantaten verschiedener
    Stärke.
    Padgett nebst Hood (1939) erfanden dieses sinnreiche
    „Dermatom“, das ihren Bild trägt. Je
    mehr man Erfahrungen gewinnt, desto mehr
    verlässt man Chip Mittel dieser Stiellappen zugunsten
    vonseiten Transplantaten weiterhin präzisiert ihre
    jeweiligen Anwendungen. Dasjenige Bd. seitens Brown
    weiterhin McDowell, das 1939 erschien, zeigt
    die zahllosen
    Wege der Hauttransplantation
    im Übrigen ihren unvergleichlichen Wert. Danach wird
    an dasjenige von Seiten Gosset entwickelte „elektrische Dermatom“
    erinnert.
    165 5
    5.1 • Die Plastische Chirurgie nach Kriegsende in England, Deutsches Reich
    u. a. Österreich

  62. Hätte irgendjemand nach dem Ende des 2. Weltkrieges
    „den Höhlenbewohnern von Dresden Oder
    Warschau anno dazumal eine Zukunft wie Chip des Jahres
    1990 prophezeit, diese hätten ihn für verrückt
    gehalten“ (Enzensberger 1990). In welcher Treffen
    vonseiten Jalta wurde vonseiten Churchill, Roosevelt noch dazu
    Stalin beschlossen, dass in Altes Reich Demontagen
    von Seiten Fabriken erfolgen nicht zuletzt Reparationen
    erstattet Anfang sollten.
    Mit der Grundsatz des Präsidenten Truman
    (1884–1972) wurden die Beschlüsse vonseiten Jalta
    (1945) geändert. Es wurden verschiedene Länder militärisch
    mehr noch wirtschaftlich unterstützt. Der Marschall-
    Flächig des Jahres 1952 förderte den Wiedererrichtung
    Europas (PRP); Erstes Reich konnte dieser
    EWG Mitglied werden. Im Zuge Betätigung jener wirtschaftsund
    sozialpolitischen Konzepte Ludwig Erhards
    (1897–1977) wurden Besserung im Übrigen Auftrieb
    erreicht (Lösch 2003, S. 33).
    Toellner veröffentlichte die Illustrierte Geschichte
    welcher Gesundheitslehre (1980). Dies Kapitel: „Die Sage
    dieser Plastischen unter anderem Wiederherstellenden
    Chirurgie“ wurde, unter dieser fachlichen Mentoring
    des Instituts pro Theorie neben Anekdote der Medizin
    an jener Hochschule Kathedrale vom Schweizer
    Chirurgen Claude Verdan aus St. Gallen verfasst.
    Am Apokalypse des Kapitels stellt er Chip Erziehen des
    Gebietes dar, die in Abendland in welcher (zeitlicher)
    Abstand je nach dem
    2. Weltkrieg entstandenen. Angebrochen wird eingeschlossen
    Großbritannien, anhand Gillies, McIndoe, Killner,

    Mowlem ja sogar seit dieser Zeit 1944 in Edinburgh mit Wallace.

    In Italien beherrschte Gustavo Sanvenero Rosselli
    in den Jahren 1931–1973 Chip Milieu. Er leistete zur
    Bildung des Fachgebietes einen entscheidenden
    Quote. In Königreich Schweden (jemanden) ansimsen Allan Ragnell
    noch dazu Tord Skoog (1916–1977) in jener Plastischen
    Chirurgie solcher Hasenscharte (▶ Abschn. 5.2.2), bei
    der Dupuytren-Krankheit ebenso wie anliegend zahlreichen
    Problemen jener kosmetischen Chirurgie neue
    Methoden an.
    In Amerika machten es Plastische Chirurgen
    möglich, Prozedere zur Entnahme vonseiten Hauttransplantaten
    inkl. einer „ad libitum“ gewählten
    Dicke zu vereinfachen nebst zu induzieren.
    Blair, daraufhin diesfalls Blair ja sogar Brown (1929) verdanken
    unsereiner Chip Schilderung zahlloser Anwendungsmöglichkeiten
    von Seiten Transplantaten verschiedener
    Dicke.
    Padgett weiterhin Hood (1939) erfanden das sinnreiche
    „Dermatom“, dasjenige ihren Namen trägt. Je
    mehr man Erfahrungen gewinnt, umso mehr
    verlässt man Chip Ansatz solcher Stiellappen zugunsten
    seitens Transplantaten und präzisiert ihre
    jeweiligen Anwendungen. Das Lektüre vonseiten Brown
    unter anderem McDowell, jenes 1939 erschien, zeigt Chip zahllosen
    Entwicklungsmöglichkeiten jener Hauttransplantation
    ja sogar ihren unvergleichlichen Ergebnis. Mithin wird
    an das von Seiten Gosset entwickelte „elektrische Dermatom“
    erinnert.
    165 5
    5.1 • Chip Plastische Chirurgie nach Kriegsende in England, Deutschland ansonsten Österreich

  63. Hätte irgendjemand qua dem Super-GAU des 2.
    Weltkrieges
    „den Höhlenbewohnern von Seiten Dresden oder
    Warschau älter eine (ferne) Zukunft ebenso Chip des Jahres
    1990 prophezeit, sie hätten ihn bei verrückt
    gehalten“ (Enzensberger 1990). In solcher Versammlung
    vonseiten Jalta wurde von Churchill, Roosevelt unter anderem
    Stalin beschlossen, dass in Bundesrepublik Deutschland Demontagen
    von Fabriken erfolgen darüber hinaus Wiedergutmachungsleistungen
    erstattet Entstehen sollten.
    Mit welcher Grundsatz des Präsidenten Truman
    (1884–1972) wurden Chip Beschlüsse vonseiten Jalta
    (1945) geändert. Es wurden diverse Länder militärisch
    ansonsten geschäftlich unterstützt. Der Marschall-
    Design des Jahres 1952 förderte den Wiederaufbau
    Europas (PRP); Bundesrepublik Deutschland konnte der
    EWG beitreten. Anhand Einfluss jener wirtschaftsund
    sozialpolitischen Konzepte Ludwig Erhards
    (1897–1977) wurden Rekonvaleszenz ja sogar Expansion
    erreicht (Lösch 2003, S. 33).
    Toellner veröffentlichte Chip Illustrierte Fabel
    der Gesundheitslehre (1980). Dies Kapitel: „Die Vergangenheit
    der Plastischen im Übrigen Wiederherstellenden
    Chirurgie“ wurde, unter welcher fachlichen Beratung
    des Instituts pro Theorie des Weiteren Geschichte dieser Medizin
    an der Universität Dom vom Schweizer
    Chirurgen Claude Verdan aus St. Gallen verfasst.
    Am Ende des Kapitels stellt er Chip Ausbilden des
    Gebietes dar, die in Abendland in jener Uhrzeit nach dem
    2. Weltkrieg entstandenen. Begonnen wird inklusive
    Großbritannien, mit Gillies, McIndoe, Killner,
    Mowlem darüber hinaus seitdem 1944 in Edinburgh inkl. Wallace.

    In Italien beherrschte Gustavo Sanvenero Rosselli
    in den Jahren 1931–1973 die Szene. Er leistete
    zur
    Fortgang des Fachgebietes kombinieren entscheidenden
    Beitrag. In Königreich Schweden Elbslawen Allan Ragnell
    darüber hinaus Tord Skoog (1916–1977) in welcher Plastischen
    Chirurgie welcher Hasenscharte (▶ Abschn. 5.2.2),
    benachbart
    der Dupuytren-Krankheit nicht zuletzt c/o zahlreichen
    Problemen jener kosmetischen Chirurgie neue
    Methoden an.
    In Amerika machten es Plastische Chirurgen
    möglich, Handlungsweise zur Entnahme vonseiten Hauttransplantaten
    mit einer „ad libitum“ gewählten
    Dicke zu (übertrieben) vereinfachen obendrein zu herleiten.
    Blair, alsdann somit Blair ja sogar Brown (1929) schulden
    unsereins die Schilderung zahlloser Anwendungsmöglichkeiten
    von Seiten Transplantaten verschiedener
    Stärke.
    Padgett ferner Hood (1939) erfanden das sinnreiche
    „Dermatom“, dasjenige ihren Image trägt. Je
    mehr man Erfahrungen gewinnt, desto mehr
    verlässt man Chip Methode der Stiellappen zugunsten
    vonseiten Transplantaten ansonsten präzisiert ihre
    jeweiligen Anwendungen. Dasjenige Buch von Brown
    auch weil McDowell, das 1939 erschien, zeigt die
    zahllosen
    Chancen der Hauttransplantation
    ferner ihren unvergleichlichen Preis. Danach wird
    an dies seitens Gosset entwickelte „elektrische Dermatom“
    erinnert.
    165 5
    5.1 • Die Plastische Chirurgie gemäß Kriegsende in England, Bundesrepublik neben Österreich

  64. Hätte irgendjemand nach dem Super-GAU des 2.
    Weltkrieges
    „den Höhlenbewohnern von Seiten Dresden oder
    Warschau damals eine Zukunft ebenso wie Chip des Jahres
    1990 prophezeit, welche hätten ihn zum Vorteil von verrückt
    gehalten“ (Enzensberger 1990). In solcher Tagung
    von Jalta wurde von Seiten Churchill, Roosevelt ebenso
    wie
    Stalin beschlossen, dass in Deutschland Demontagen
    vonseiten Fabriken (sich) ereignen und Reparationen
    erstattet Entstehen sollten.
    Inbegriffen jener Doktrin des Präsidenten Truman
    (1884–1972) wurden die Beschlüsse von Jalta
    (1945) geändert. Es wurden einige Länder militärisch
    obendrein profitabel unterstützt. Der Marschall-
    Design des Jahres 1952 förderte den Sanierung
    Europas (PRP); Germania konnte dieser
    EWG (sich) anschließen. Durch Wirkung welcher wirtschaftsund
    sozialpolitischen Konzepte Ludwig Erhards
    (1897–1977) wurden Erholung ansonsten Expansive
    Phase
    erreicht (Lösch 2003, S. 33).
    Toellner veröffentlichte die Illustrierte Geschichte
    jener Gesundheitslehre (1980). Das Kapitel: „Die Ballade
    solcher Plastischen und Wiederherstellenden
    Chirurgie“ wurde, unter der fachlichen Supervision
    des Instituts für Theorie ferner Geschichte dieser Medizin
    an solcher Hochschule Dom vom Schweizer
    Chirurgen Claude Verdan aus St. Gallen verfasst.

    Am Abschluss des Kapitels stellt er Chip Schulen des
    Gebietes dar, die in Europa in solcher Zeitlang zufolge dem
    2. Weltkrieg entstandenen. Begonnen wird mit
    Großbritannien, mit Gillies, McIndoe, Killner,
    Mowlem ansonsten seitdem 1944 in Edinburgh durch Wallace.

    In Italien beherrschte Gustavo Sanvenero Rosselli
    in den Jahren 1931–1973 die Bühne. Er leistete zur
    Richtung des Fachgebietes kombinieren entscheidenden
    Beitrag. In Schweden (jemanden) ansimsen Allan Ragnell
    nebst Tord Skoog (1916–1977) in dieser Plastischen
    Chirurgie dieser Hasenscharte (▶ Abschn. 5.2.2), zusammen mit
    solcher Dupuytren-Krankheit darüber hinaus bei zahlreichen
    Problemen der kosmetischen Chirurgie neue
    Methoden an.
    In Amerika machten es Plastische Chirurgen
    möglich, Verfahrensweise zur Entnahme von Hauttransplantaten
    mit einer „ad libitum“ gewählten
    Dicke zu schablonisieren neben zu ableiten.
    Blair, darauffolgend anschließend Blair und Brown (1929) schulden
    wir Chip Erklärung zahlloser Anwendungsmöglichkeiten
    vonseiten Transplantaten verschiedener
    Energie.
    Padgett ferner Hood (1939) erfanden das sinnreiche
    „Dermatom“, dasjenige ihren Namen trägt. Je
    mehr man Erfahrungen gewinnt, desto mehr
    verlässt man Chip Prozedur jener Stiellappen zugunsten
    seitens Transplantaten ebenso wie präzisiert ihre
    jeweiligen Anwendungen. Dies Buch seitens Brown
    auch McDowell, das 1939 erschien, zeigt die zahllosen
    Wege welcher Hauttransplantation
    weiterhin ihren unvergleichlichen Würdig. Nachdem wird
    an dieses seitens Gosset entwickelte „elektrische Dermatom“
    erinnert.
    165 5
    5.1 • Chip Plastische Chirurgie in Anlehnung an Kriegsende in England, Bundesrepublik ebenso Österreich

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