What’s going on in Timmy Time?

Friends, I have had to bring you news of many items of corruption, concealed within the television shows that are fed to our children, but during my investigations into Timmy Time, I have discovered not just corruption, but the very filming of the corruption, and it’s broadcast as entertainment to the youth of the world. Not since ‘The Running Man’ has such barbarity been shown as entertainment. Not since ‘The X Factor’ put all first auditions on a big stage in front of a live audience has such debasement of character been mainstreamed. They try to hide the truth of what’s going on by making all of the characters talk in a meaningless babble, like Pokémon of the damned, but the truth is always there for those who have the eyes to see it!

The first inkling of darkness in Timmy Time, comes during the introduction. We see Timmy leaving his weeping mother as he goes off to “school”. Her tears are not of simple awareness of how much she will miss him, look at her face! There’s a gut wrenching pain there, a knowledge that something precious is being taken away from her, and that what she will be getting back will be slightly less. There’s a helplessness in a situation that she cannot escape or alter, and the slow erosion of her son is as unalterable and gradual as an oncoming glacier.

The next scene reveals it all. We see one of the teachers, a heron, closing and locking the gate after Timmy has left. This action is not to keep people out of Timmy’s field, but to keep Timmy’s mother locked in. This is her prison, along with who knows how many more, and every day her child is taken away to be “educated”.

Timmy’s mother was too close to Timmy’s father, who my research has revealed was a politically outspoken freelance journalist. Timmy was too young to remember the night when they came for him, and when they were moved to the field, with the gate that would only be opened to let him out once a day, before being returned after an extensive re-education program.

The oppression is right there for all to see. The teachers are all birds, an owl and a heron! The only authority permitted is from birds! The one thing in every episode that all of the children instantly obey? The cuckoo clock! What ever the Great Cuckoo says, you do it immediately, and joyfully! All animals must obey the Great Cuckoo. Get them while they’re young! The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world! Breed in them an obedience to the effigy, and you will raise in them a loyalty to the reality! The great irony, screaming at all of us. The Cuckoo, usurper of the young. Taking a place in the nest of the children, and growing fat while they starve, slowly pushing out their individualities until all they can say is “Cuckoo”.

The society they exist in is clearly hierarchical. Even the young owl, who can expect some privileges as an avian is keen to show that he knows his place. Whenever he flies, he always sticks close to the ground. He knows not to fly higher than may be permitted, not to seek superiority until it is given to him. What we are seeing, as entertainment, is the slow destruction of Timmy the sheep, and the slow emerging of Timmy the upholder and defender of the superior avian race.

Lastly, Friends, there is the insultingly blatant title. Timmy Time. Timmy does Time. Timmy does Time in a happy smiley friendly place of fun that’s slowly conditioning him to unquestioning supplication and obedience to the totalitarian avian society that seeks to infect the nest of the young with it’s poison, like all good cuckoos do!

The current state of Timmy’s father is unknown. From my continuing investigation the trail becomes colder everyday. Previously obtainable records have vanished, articles he had written now have other authors names attached. His birth certificate no longer exists, and Timmy’s father is officially listed as ‘The Glorious Avian Party’.

Maybe Timmy is the lucky one. He might be able to avoid a life sentence for politically unfavourable opinions in a totalitarian state, as he is young enough to still be malleable, but that is a luxury his mother is not permitted. If Timmy learns the correct lessons, says the right things, thinks the right thoughts, one day there may even be a spot in the party for him!

What’s going on in Charlie and Lola?

Friends, this may be the direst investigation I have undertaken. There are fundamental warning signs in Charlie and Lola, that could lead to the end of the world as we know it. Call it what you will, Armageddon, The Apocalypse, End Times, Eschaton, Zombie Uprising, the Millennium Bug finally coming to fruition, or whatever. Charlie and Lola have got a big neon sign and they’re directing our destinies down their own particular avenue of potential futures, and it will not end well for us if we just let it happen!

I know Charlie and Lola look all ‘childhood wonder’, imagination, and pink milk (I’ll come back to that later), and I know that they have a seemingly productive and friendly relationship, but let’s focus on another relationship; one less obvious and far more sinister. The key to unlocking the dread fate Charlie and Lola are leading us towards lies in the singular character of Soren Lorensen, Lola’s imaginary friend.

Let’s start with the biggest giveaway. Soren Lorensen is a ghost. He’s grey, transparent, and seems to be able to fade into the background at will, whenever someone other than Lola (his vassal) is around. So Lola has a ghost that speaks to her, and by comparing likenesses, we can see that Soren Lorensen is certainly a member of Charlie and Lola’s family. Charlie and Lola’s surname is Sonner, which is of German origin, and Lorensen is Nordic, so we can trace the path of Charlie and Lola’s family history from the UK, through Germany, to Scandinavia. This is also backed up by their blonde hair!

Now, friends, we have a Nordic ancestral ghost trying to influence a 5 year old girl. Through my extensive research into Norse mythology, Viking ghosts only arise if their burial sites have been desecrated in some way. This desecration can usually be rectified to release the ghost, but what if the burial site is beyond recovery? Maybe a new Swedish branch of Ikea put their foundations through it, maybe an Icelandic banker buried their ill gotten gains in it, and sealed it with concrete, who knows. The point is that Soren Lorensen will not be able to rest until his burial site is restored or (and this is the important part) Ragnarök has begun!

At Ragnarök, the great final battle between the Norse Gods and the Frost Giants, the Viking warriors who died valiantly in battle will be raised up to fight alongside Odin and Thor etc. against the Frost Giants. In this battle both sides will be defeated, and the world will sink beneath the waves, all but removing humanity from existence! Ragnarök will begin when the great wolf Fenrir breaks the chains that bind him, and this is what Soren Lorensen is seeking to bring about. In his selfish desire to be at peace he will destroy the very world, and he’s using Lola to do it! All of their trips using their imagination, may just be a ruse. Soren Lorensen is using the power of a little girl’s imagination. The trips they take are more vivid than we may realise, and actually show Soren Lorensen piggy backing on Lola’s astral form, as they project themselves around the world, searching for the location of Fenrir!

How is this astral projection accomplished? We have only to look towards Lola’s favourite drink, pink milk. It’s never called strawberry milk, or a milk shake, and the reason is because it does not taste of strawberries, or raspberries or any berries, but something far more sinister and other worldly. The reason the milk is pink is not through any friendly artificial flavourings or colourings, it involves slain enemies, and a simple question. What two colours do you mix to make pink? Once they have found Fenrir, Soren Lorensen will begin the process of trying to free him. This is why Lola is so obsessed with dogs. Soren Lorensen has been conditioning her over the years to see the canine form as a great ally, and something to be played with, so that when Fenrir has been located Lola will not shy away from helping the great wolf!

Friends, the consequences of Soren Lorensen succeeding in his quest for oblivion are indeed dire, and there were times when I would write this folly off as absurd, but during my investigation I stumbled upon an image that may indeed point towards the location of Fenrir, in an isolated mountain range in China, specifically Mount Gongga.

This photograph captured all too familiar shadows on the mountain that might spell the doom for us all. Let us hope that Soren Lorensen continues to confine his search to Northern Europe. The time of Ragnarök may be approaching. The signs are there. My frost free freezer is constantly producing frost at an alarming rate! Keep your heating turned high, friends. It may be the best defence against encroaching Frost Giants!